How to Be Confident
Today begins a new series on how to develop confidence. Instead of trying to cram a funnel of information into one post, instead, I am going to split it up into multiple posts. That way, you can enjoy more bite-sized chunks of information.
Confidence….
Confidence is one of the greatest lessons missing from our public schools today. We’re taught about the French and Indian War, but we’re not taught about how to cultivate strong relationships. That essential skill we must acquire on our own.
We must all learn to develop a healthy self-confidence. It doesn’t matter whether you are a talkative socialite or a quiet introvert. We all have our own insecurities, even if nobody else ever sees them.
The girl you know at work that seems to have it all together; the Hollywood celebrity that entertains thousands of people; the jock on the football team that all the girls love…. every one of these people has insecurities.
Many people are surrounded by a mob of people everyday, but rarely connect with anyone else at a deeper level than “hello”.
Thankfully, there are specific steps that will help us become the confident, self-assured people that we aspire to be.
The first key to becoming a confident person is developing effective communication. Communication is the cornerstone of every successful business and relationship.
What do you do when you meet someone for the first time? Do you freeze up? Do you avoid eye contact? Do you worry about what to say?
I think we all have at one time or another and that’s okay.
But to become a person of confidence and poise, we must first forget about ourselves. Instead of focusing on our fears, we must focus on making the other person feel special. Take an interest in them and they will take an interest in you. The key is to focus on the other person and not yourself.
When growing up and going to school, I would often tell my mom about how hard it was for me to talk to certain people. I was so intimidated that I was having trouble approaching the people I really wanted to hang out with.
Then, one day my mom told me to focus on the other person and to stop thinking about my own fears. At first I never really thought it would work. However, the next day when I went to school, that’s just what I did. I buried my fears and focused completely on the other person. I tried to take an interest in them and somehow make their day just a bit better. And you know what, it worked. Mom was right.
When we allow ourselves to be intimidated, we miss out on a world of experiences and opportunities.
So, the next time you want to talk to someone, take a sincere interest in them. It is a very rare occasion that someone doesn’t like to talk about themselves. Your job is simply to get them talking about themselves.
Stay tuned for the next part of the confidence series where we will discuss how to initiate conversations…
If you enjoyed this post then make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed.